Today in Jobless Land, I woke up early (around 6 am) was up mindlessly scouring the internet-- for what exactly? I'm still not entirely sure..
Went back to sleep at around 8, then woke up around 11.
I had just enough time to make him breakfast before he went to the gym. He sat on the edge of the bed and listened to a song that is still stuck in my head (and I'm not particularly fond of it either)-- We said our good-byes as he kissed me.
SO what does that mean for what I did today. I made breakfast, along with egg salad. Washed dishes, cleaned the counter and range and swept the floors. But lately something's been bugging me lately. It's this odd odor emanating from under the sink and near the trash. So I poured bleach down all the drains, wiped the sinks, poured bleach in the disconnected garbage disposal - sprayed the cabinets with vinegar and yet it still smells.. So after hours of trying to combat this problem, here I am half out of my wit and not fully making sense to myself, trying to muster strength to stay awake for some reason.. I am so tired.
And for those of you looking for a job who also have degrees, I've been reading some articles on the best place to work if you can only score a part time job-- amongst them are starbucks a well as lowes-- google it, you'll find more information.
I can't seem to focus much on anything these days.. I always feel completely exhausted despite hardly doing anything major.
It's just tough when you don't qualify for a position. And I'd really hate to see another month go by without any employment.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Friday, October 5, 2012
When your unemployed, there's no sense of time
It's easy to lose track of time, especially "when you're having fun." But no one ever tells you that when you are looking for a job, your job is finding a job. I had an inkling of what unemployment was about, I've seen my mother unemployed a few times, and watched as she would fall into work b/c of her connections she had made through the hospital system. And unemployment wasn't like this way back when. We sort of live in an era where we breed unemployment and debt disease.
In high school the teachers always whine and complain that "this is a taste of what college is like."-- Oh how they have underestimated it wrongly! They should've prepped us for what our economy is demanding right now. That way we wouldn't have a high demand in an already flooded industry. But we don't want to do hard work, and so the few people who DO that hard work b/c the rest of us refuse are in high demand but have low supply- they get paid more!
Unfortunately, the more you're paid the less is really required of you physically.
I had been looking online through profiles of single (24- 32 y.o.) females recently and had noticed that a small percentage of them still have not pursued any higher education past high school. To me that incomprehensible, and frankly the statistics of the people with high school educations earning significantly less than those with college degrees made sense to me. Then I had noticed a significant amount of those with professional jobs had marked education as "some college", or "associate's"-- Here I am with a BA in Psychology and am struggling to find work- but when I apply it's as if you need a BA in order to even be considered! What is failed to mention is the amount of debt these poor people accrue as they continue their education routes. I was watching a documentary on this phenomena called, "Mind Over Money"- A boy who was about to become a stock broker was killed in a tragic car accident leaving his parents with almost 82,000 in school loans-- my thought is, why is education here in the US not free like it is over seas? It would seem that the government wants us to fail in life, or certainly no thrive in it that's for sure!
Most people in Japan don't even have a credit card. The way our world works here, is that if you want to make a major purchase of either a car or a house, you can't get a loan with out good credit and you ca't get a credit card without good credit either-- most Americans accrue debt this way. By not being educated or knowing the first thing on what a credit card is/ should be used for. They set us up to fail.
In high school the teachers always whine and complain that "this is a taste of what college is like."-- Oh how they have underestimated it wrongly! They should've prepped us for what our economy is demanding right now. That way we wouldn't have a high demand in an already flooded industry. But we don't want to do hard work, and so the few people who DO that hard work b/c the rest of us refuse are in high demand but have low supply- they get paid more!
Unfortunately, the more you're paid the less is really required of you physically.
I had been looking online through profiles of single (24- 32 y.o.) females recently and had noticed that a small percentage of them still have not pursued any higher education past high school. To me that incomprehensible, and frankly the statistics of the people with high school educations earning significantly less than those with college degrees made sense to me. Then I had noticed a significant amount of those with professional jobs had marked education as "some college", or "associate's"-- Here I am with a BA in Psychology and am struggling to find work- but when I apply it's as if you need a BA in order to even be considered! What is failed to mention is the amount of debt these poor people accrue as they continue their education routes. I was watching a documentary on this phenomena called, "Mind Over Money"- A boy who was about to become a stock broker was killed in a tragic car accident leaving his parents with almost 82,000 in school loans-- my thought is, why is education here in the US not free like it is over seas? It would seem that the government wants us to fail in life, or certainly no thrive in it that's for sure!
Most people in Japan don't even have a credit card. The way our world works here, is that if you want to make a major purchase of either a car or a house, you can't get a loan with out good credit and you ca't get a credit card without good credit either-- most Americans accrue debt this way. By not being educated or knowing the first thing on what a credit card is/ should be used for. They set us up to fail.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Month 5, Day 2
Today is just one of those days where you know you have chores you should do, but you really can't manage to get out of bed to do them.
Funny how watching Netflix and being on the computer for hours is no problem, but the hunt of job searching is like twisting your arm. You think "well I could mop the floor like I said I would 2 days ago--" low and behold you haven't touched it. It hasn't gotten to the point where you walk into the apartment and it singes your nostrils or acts like a puddle of mud that prohibit movement of your feet. But you notice it's slowly getting there. It's almost as if the thing is a dog-- constantly needing a bath and completely incapable of cleaning itself..
You could tidy up and run the vacuum, but all chores seem like a hassle. That's why they're chores. Of course you were up before noon today, fell back asleep watching t.v.-- the noise would be too loud. But you're an adult, and unemployed. Eager to offer labor to someone willing to pay you money..for anything. At this point you're desperate-- there is no "pride" anymore. Yet no one will hire you. It's not bad enough you have to stoop low to where you realize you're underemployed- getting a job you realize you could have gotten while in high school... but to have those same people reject you from being hired. I just don't understand.
Funny how watching Netflix and being on the computer for hours is no problem, but the hunt of job searching is like twisting your arm. You think "well I could mop the floor like I said I would 2 days ago--" low and behold you haven't touched it. It hasn't gotten to the point where you walk into the apartment and it singes your nostrils or acts like a puddle of mud that prohibit movement of your feet. But you notice it's slowly getting there. It's almost as if the thing is a dog-- constantly needing a bath and completely incapable of cleaning itself..
You could tidy up and run the vacuum, but all chores seem like a hassle. That's why they're chores. Of course you were up before noon today, fell back asleep watching t.v.-- the noise would be too loud. But you're an adult, and unemployed. Eager to offer labor to someone willing to pay you money..for anything. At this point you're desperate-- there is no "pride" anymore. Yet no one will hire you. It's not bad enough you have to stoop low to where you realize you're underemployed- getting a job you realize you could have gotten while in high school... but to have those same people reject you from being hired. I just don't understand.
Monday, October 1, 2012
Job Hunt: Month 5
I've decided to start writing. Not just for my own piece of mind, but for those after me who are in the same spot. I've been on the school newspaper, given awards for my creative writing. Written a book with a friend while we were in high school that never got around to being typed or even considered for publish...and maybe someday I'll get around to publishing a book on what it'd be like to be president- (or blog about it at least!)
I am 19 years old with a Bachelor's degree. I've never taken a break from school, but since my moving out to be with my fiance I never realized how tough this would be.
Five months without a job, and for someone like me, who never stopped moving, I've come to find the once relaxing peace of the apartment that allowed me to finish my school work now more brutally deafening than hearing the neighbors' next door walking around on an uneven floor.
I live in a small town. It's primarily old, rich white people- and in the center, where the main street runs, above the little town shops, is where I live. It's quaint, humble- a minimalists dream. I am quite happy. I have met the love of my life, I have been given a great education, have a great relationship now with my family, as well as his; and yet only one thing is missing. A job.
You never truly realize how much of who you are relies in school when you no longer have school as part of your identity. College can teach you about being an adult, I even took a class on managing personal finances, as well as "employment strategies"- they gave me a good book, but it doesn't come close to true in the real world. I slowly start believing that this is a game, and more than anything; it's rigged. People are lucky or they aren't. You could have all the education in the world and it wouldn't make a difference.
I was fortunate enough to be with someone who already has their life figured out, his inspirational goals set and something he works towards and has room to negotiate on. Well off in his occupation; He's the hands-on person who dreams of being an inventor. He doesn't mind hard work, and sucks it up in the mean time because he knows he's going elsewhere in life.
Here I am. With a B.A. in Psychology, only had two jobs in my life, no idea what I like, or any clue as to what I can endure so long as I have hobbies. I want what everyone wants. A job I don't hate getting up in the morning to go to every day. Because job searching IS a job in and of itself. I'm lucky that I have it in me to get dressed, or even roll out of bed.
I am on this computer from the moment he leaves for work to whenever I look up at the clock and realize it's almost 11 at night and I haven't eaten. I go to bed late, and get up even later. I am more surprised that I have the drive to keep chugging along. I don't want to do anything, but I mindlessly apply to jobs that I know I am way overqualified for, only to be shot down, and there is always someone who is better qualified than me. I am in that strange place. Overqualified for most jobs, and under-qualified for the others. I have the talent the drive, the loyalty. But a potential employer doesn't see that, they don't know me on a personal level. I am a speck in a sea of applications all fighting for that one job I could probably do better than anyways.
I realize my attitude about this is all wrong, and that most would argue that I am too negative. But imagine being in a new town. Having no job, no connections, your fiancee is at work during the day, you're alone- at one point you had two jobs. Now you rely on your significant other for money. The car you two bought together is beyond repair because someone fixed it just enough to last for the two weeks that it was fine- just enough to sell it- and now you have a useless car that isn't worth anything. You always get lost going anywhere if he isn't driving, you already feel lost and helpless. What better than a physical representation of all the emotions you feel being projected to you. Now it's not just a nightmare, its your reality.
Laying around all day isn't fun anymore, and you don't want to clean- you're lucky to get dressed and make it out of bed! You've applied to be a volunteer, hoping that this free time you have would be useful to someone who needs it- giving you purpose and someone else's life a little pleasure. Hard to hear when even those people don't want your time, which makes you think, if your time isn't valuable for free, who's going to want to pay you?
So this is where I am at now. Hoping that someone takes that chance on you because you would bend over backwards for them. But every time I read that letter of rejection, it's less sad than typical. It's frustrating, and yet you continue on. It just takes a few hugs and acceptance from the significant other that keep you from going off the edge. It's unconditional love and an "it's all right" when you break down and crying his arms that helps keep going.
I am 19 years old with a Bachelor's degree. I've never taken a break from school, but since my moving out to be with my fiance I never realized how tough this would be.
Five months without a job, and for someone like me, who never stopped moving, I've come to find the once relaxing peace of the apartment that allowed me to finish my school work now more brutally deafening than hearing the neighbors' next door walking around on an uneven floor.
I live in a small town. It's primarily old, rich white people- and in the center, where the main street runs, above the little town shops, is where I live. It's quaint, humble- a minimalists dream. I am quite happy. I have met the love of my life, I have been given a great education, have a great relationship now with my family, as well as his; and yet only one thing is missing. A job.
You never truly realize how much of who you are relies in school when you no longer have school as part of your identity. College can teach you about being an adult, I even took a class on managing personal finances, as well as "employment strategies"- they gave me a good book, but it doesn't come close to true in the real world. I slowly start believing that this is a game, and more than anything; it's rigged. People are lucky or they aren't. You could have all the education in the world and it wouldn't make a difference.
I was fortunate enough to be with someone who already has their life figured out, his inspirational goals set and something he works towards and has room to negotiate on. Well off in his occupation; He's the hands-on person who dreams of being an inventor. He doesn't mind hard work, and sucks it up in the mean time because he knows he's going elsewhere in life.
Here I am. With a B.A. in Psychology, only had two jobs in my life, no idea what I like, or any clue as to what I can endure so long as I have hobbies. I want what everyone wants. A job I don't hate getting up in the morning to go to every day. Because job searching IS a job in and of itself. I'm lucky that I have it in me to get dressed, or even roll out of bed.
I am on this computer from the moment he leaves for work to whenever I look up at the clock and realize it's almost 11 at night and I haven't eaten. I go to bed late, and get up even later. I am more surprised that I have the drive to keep chugging along. I don't want to do anything, but I mindlessly apply to jobs that I know I am way overqualified for, only to be shot down, and there is always someone who is better qualified than me. I am in that strange place. Overqualified for most jobs, and under-qualified for the others. I have the talent the drive, the loyalty. But a potential employer doesn't see that, they don't know me on a personal level. I am a speck in a sea of applications all fighting for that one job I could probably do better than anyways.
I realize my attitude about this is all wrong, and that most would argue that I am too negative. But imagine being in a new town. Having no job, no connections, your fiancee is at work during the day, you're alone- at one point you had two jobs. Now you rely on your significant other for money. The car you two bought together is beyond repair because someone fixed it just enough to last for the two weeks that it was fine- just enough to sell it- and now you have a useless car that isn't worth anything. You always get lost going anywhere if he isn't driving, you already feel lost and helpless. What better than a physical representation of all the emotions you feel being projected to you. Now it's not just a nightmare, its your reality.
Laying around all day isn't fun anymore, and you don't want to clean- you're lucky to get dressed and make it out of bed! You've applied to be a volunteer, hoping that this free time you have would be useful to someone who needs it- giving you purpose and someone else's life a little pleasure. Hard to hear when even those people don't want your time, which makes you think, if your time isn't valuable for free, who's going to want to pay you?
So this is where I am at now. Hoping that someone takes that chance on you because you would bend over backwards for them. But every time I read that letter of rejection, it's less sad than typical. It's frustrating, and yet you continue on. It just takes a few hugs and acceptance from the significant other that keep you from going off the edge. It's unconditional love and an "it's all right" when you break down and crying his arms that helps keep going.
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